The Mulish Search for Identity

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Thinks To Keep In Mind

The first thing to include relates to the history of your character. Muls do not occur naturally, and are bred specifically as fighting tools by rich and the templarate. Muls have little individual control over their own fates or purpose, a fact that often comes into direct conflict with an innate instinct for survival.

How Much Liberty is There in a Mul's Background?

Most muls are raised under the harshest of conditions designed to make them excel as fighters. Discipline is often very military in nature, with pleasing acts or displeasing acts resulting in tangible gain or loss of privilege. They are taught to fight and to survive and to serve without questioning their lot. Fighting is glory and dying for the citystate is an honor. Little freedom from established routine is allowed for the captive mul. Escape and the introduction of true liberty is a life changing and mind altering event.

Muls are rare because they are difficult to breed and often do not survive the birthing process. Because of this, their breeding is deliberate and their training closely controlled. Like with cattle, desirable traits are introduced by careful selection of the parentage. While any mul could be produced from the union of a dwarf and a human, a mul of superior quality is more complex.

Like a kank or any other beast of burden, muls are bred and sold for specific reasons. The details of this are largely up to the player: Is the mul adept at a particular type of fighting? Is the mul creative in some unusual way that would benefit or amuse a connoisseur? Is the mul unusually strong or docile? Is the mul unusually recalcitrant and provides a challenge for a dedicated master? Is the mul simply exotic in appearance, as a dangerous animal designed to serve as a token of wealth?

If considering a mul, you may find it useful to discuss some possibilities with a player or immortal representative of the house you wish to be a slave of, if you plan on including some specific details in your mul's background.

How Others Perceive Muls

It is important to understand how others view muls before creating one, for this is often what will dictate what tasks they are bred for. Muls are not people. They may be regarded as property, or as skilled tools, but it is seldom, if ever, that civilized persons would regard a mul in the same way as a freed person of any other race.

From this point of view, for a mul to have hopes or wants of its own seems absurd. Most would prefer to manipulate a mul's purpose to meet their own desires, never questioning what the mul wants or whether it has some other agenda, except as a means to motivate it. The mul training, even for a freed mul, deprives most muls of the degree of subtlety that would be required to scheme of its own volition.

Muls are seen by many to be the ultimate slaves because they are physically hardier than humans, and overall better athletes. They have the flexibility of their human blood and the strength and hardiness of their dwarven blood. They are not as difficult to motivate as their dwarven kin, because they are not laden with a dwarf's uncanny focus. However, they do not share the purity of human creativity with their human kin, and their general identity makes them less emotionally mature or accessible, and thus easier to use as tools.

Muls can also be considered a prized possession due to their high cost and mystique, or they may be considered to be failed investments, as a race horse who fails to perform. The political role of a gladiatorial team should not be underestimated within the sphere of Allanak, and the utility of a mul with the desire to avenge their time in Southern slavery should not be underestimated within other spheres. Some may serve merely as decoration in fixed fights with exotic looks, and vanity in a mul is not impossible.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, muls are dangerous. Physically, they are some of the most powerful humanoids in all of Zalanthas. Mentally, their rigid training and combat discipline and relative creativity compared to dwarves or half-giants make them deadly pets.

In captivity, the image of an enraged mul, frothing with blood and killing in a frenzy is one which is burned into the minds of anyone fortunate enough to witness it and survive. Such actions are oft talked about and may even be a thing of legends.

Outside of captivity, the feel of their danger should be even more prominent, as there are no chains and no arena walls separating such a force from your person. Emotionally unpredictable, people confronting a freed mul would be wise to tread on the eggshells of a respect that is driven by fear of what they can do rather than impression of their accomplishment.

How Others' Perception Affects Muls

As discussed above, some obvious roles come to light. But more important are what roles muls generally are not acceptable for. Both because of the potential danger they pose and because of their perceived lack of real humanity, muls are rarely trusted with much real responsibility. While the image of a mul as a personal bodyguard or servant might seem plausible, it is more the exception than the rule: would you let a circus lion protect you while you sleep? Would you use an expensive and rare tiger to fetch your child from daycare? The use of muls as labor slaves or mercenaries should be similarly examined: Would you send your very expensive and rare tiger to be worked to death in a situation that would ruin his pelt and value? Would you trust such a wild animal unleashed by your side in a life and death situation?

Are Escaped Muls Appropriate Character Themes?

Yes! But like all things, you have to approach it realistically. Despite public perception, muls do have strong desires of their own, which will be discussed a bit later. But escape from the bonds of slavery is not something that comes naturally to a mul.

Most muls are bred to know nothing outside of their captive lives. The daily struggle to find one's bread in a handful of dirty black rocks is offensive to a born slave. The loss of purpose gained by being dragged away from periodic fights for glory in front of an entire citystate of onlookers may outweigh the gains of being free. The abstract concepts of what it really means to be 'free' may be lost on a mul who has spent its entire life with no exposure to true liberty in any form. In some cases, a freed mul may feel like an agoraphobic who has been dragged out of its house and into a strange field. Or it may feel like a trust fund kid who has never had a job and suddenly finds out, at age 18, that it's disowned without any posessions. Being freed may be perceived as a punishment to certain muls.

Often, it is only a set of extenuating circumstances that will cause a mul to become free of its own will. This could be a case where the mul's survival instinct is forced to override his training, such as a case where the increasing discontent of its master has removed the glory of battle, and increasingly difficult battles within the arena will clearly eventually become fatal. Or, it may be liberated by enemy forces or by someone who thinks the mul can be re-trained and used to their own ends.

Some things to keep in mind if you're planning to play an escaped mul: What was my task before I escaped? Who was my owner? How did I feel about being a slave, and what changed my view from my training? How does this affect my current aptitudes and outlook? How did I escape, and how long ago? If a mul escaped or was freed while very young, it will have spent most of its life in freedom. This will create a significantly different personality compared to a mul that has been a slave for twenty years, and you should keep this in mind.

What caused you to become free? Was it your own actions, or were you freed by someone else? It is usually a very important life change which allows a mul to free itself, or become free. This is sure to have an impact on your character. The same goes if some individual or group freed the mul. Are you eternally grateful for being liberated, or do you resent being taken away from that life and being forced into reality? Perhaps you resent being freed by someone else because you feel guilty for not doing so on your own -- "My liberator forced his will on me just like everyone else!"

Finally, because of the great cost and respect garnered by owning a mul, the previous owner is likely to be very active in getting an escaped mul back. Who does your mul have chasing them? The templarate? A noble house? Bounty-hunters?

Mulish personalities

Muls are bred and perceived to be inhuman tools, yet they are in fact rich in emotion. Because of their experience, they may be even more sensitive to human emotion than humans! This is the grand irony of the mul. A young mul is forced quickly to grasp the rigors of its existence. Unable to have a childhood like normal humans, a young mul may feel the loss of this more poignantly as it develops. The lack of an outlet for humor or impulse will make the response to the the stories of and personalities of other races far more visceral and hard to process.

Indeed, because of their perspective and their breeding, muls are some of the most empathic creatures on Zalanthas - they are terribly sensitive both to their own emotions and those of others because emotions are not something they are allowed to understand. Some muls will become withdrawn or even depressed. Others will become angry or unpredictable. Some might show inappropriate senses of humor or reactions to emotional situations. This is what lends to the perception that they are unpredictable. They lack the social norms of other races, and the intensity of their reaction causes very visible results.

Couple the facts of their existence with the absence of a racial culture. Too flexible of mind to enjoy their dwarven kin, but too mystified by the creativity of their human kin to compete on anything but a physical level, they cannot claim a common heritage. And muls have no history or heritage of their own. There are no mul fairy tales. There are no mul superstitions. The only friends they have are functional, either as methods of control or means of survival. In their quest for identity, there are no sources of answers. A mul does not even know his or her parents, much less grandparents. In fact, if a mul knows the origins of its birth (not all do), it learns that its mother was not a loving mother, but a mother whose child was forced on her as a death sentence. To be born, a mul has to kill its own mother.

While so repulsive at face value, the mullish identity of 'slave' is often the only source of personal identity for them. Without it, they are lost. This statement is more dramatic to a mul than other slaves, due to their empathic nature. It is this state that most often prevents most muls from having the motivation to actively seek liberation from slavery. While they are repulsed by the thought of being an identityless tool, they cannot see things to identify with in the outside world.

Do Free Muls Feel This Conflict?

Yes - though it is channeled in a different way. If a mul is simply freed, and set out on their own way, their issues concerning personal identity will become overwhelming. There has been no source of identity to replace that which was provided by slavery. Such muls may become lost wanderers; unpredictable, frustrated, depressed, dangerous to themselves and others.

Many muls, however, find something to identify with once they are freed. If a group or individual freed them, a mul is likely to identify with them. Such a mul could be very devoted, as they will finally see their identity issues be resolved - they are given a place in the world which does not conflict with how they feel.

When you take this situation, and consider the great empathy of muls, you can understand why many muls become leaders and strong proponents for various causes, once freed.

Do Muls With New Identity Lose Their Conflict?

Not entirely. The confusion described above is something that is integral to the mulish personality and can never truly be lost. The strong empathy of muls will make identity issues very difficult to resolve, and there is a perpetual novelty to discovering the depths of normal interactions. Camaraderie, a handshake, civilized discource, double entendres, sarcasm, humor, all shades of subtlety that could take a mul the rest of its life to master.

While they may have found a place to fit in, they will wonder: Is this really me? How can I know if this is really me? How do I know who I really am? These issues can grow to psychotic proportions in a mul. What makes it worse is that very few people will ever truly see a mul as an individual. Even once freed, muls will tend to be used as tools. While this may serve as a source of identity, a mul will be very sensitive to this - and it is a dangerous source of anger! While a mul may become a great leader, a kind of destructive cycle may still develop as political pressures devise new ways to make even the most competent free leader into a tool. The inability to understand what it means to make one's own true decision, and the constant reinforcement that its decisions may be manipulations rather than its own will make muls consistently unstable. They will never have the stability and reliability as a leader that others can develop.

As a final note, it is important to understand how unstable muls are. They are not the same as traumatized people. The above discussion has suggested why this might be so, but it's worth explicitly pointing out. All muls, regardless of their life history, tend towards unpredictability and anger because of their nature. This need not necessarily be an external and dangerous anger. Some may turn the anger inside in a dangerously self-destructive way. As with all things, how these express themselves is up to the player, but it's important to always keep them in mind.

Because of the strong mulish empathy and his constant exploration of its own identity and role in the world, a mul's anger can easily be set off by any of a number of social or physical events. Muls are typically defensive and resentful of all the things that characterize them; many muls are self-loathing. A mul may, initially, be fascinated by the concept of family and children, and may even experience nurturing instincts. However, over time, sexuality, reproduction, and culture become sore points to a mul, because they describe the things that ultimately separate a mul from everyone else. The inability to ever fit in, the curse of always being other is the tie that links every mul to its anger and unpredictable nature.